Facing the Talk

“…whether it is right in the sight of God to listen to you more than to God, you judge” – Acts 4:19

This past weekend we saw Anthony Joshua have his debut fight in America and lose his titles, his unbeaten record and crush his potential American dream. To say that this was an upset is an understatement but the surprising factor came from sections of the public.

It wasn’t long ago that many on this side of the Atlantic saw him as the best heavyweight in the world and many would agree that the outstanding efforts of Andy Ruiz Jr is seen more of a blip than a result of ability. If these two factors are true, why are there calls for Anthony Joshua to retire? Why are some of these ‘expert’ pundits calling him “finished”? All of this reminds me of a message my pastor preached years ago entitled ‘Being Dead to Public Opinion’.

It’s so remarkable how the same people that can praise you are ready to crucify you as soon as things go wrong. The worst thing you can do is to live for the opinions of others. Anthony Joshua was pretty much on top of the heavyweight mountain just last week and all of a sudden he has been toppled off Everest without the assistance of skis or ropes. This post isn’t about Anthony Joshua but more about you and I.

We live in a world where everyone has an opinion and people are very quick to label each other. The part I find scary is when someone lives on the opinions of others. You just have to look at the pressure people face when it comes to social media. 1 in 10 people in the UK suffers from anxiety, and Anxiety.org has already condemned social media as ‘an anxiety-provoking factor’. They cite the Fear of Missing Out (FOMO) and ‘Compare and Despair’ as the two main triggers.

I remember someone I know deleting a picture from their Instagram page, as it did not get as many likes as they wanted. I was dumbfounded. The individual concluded in their mind that the picture was good and wanted to upload it but changed their mind on the quality of the picture because it did not gain the attention they craved.

Then there is the comparison factor where people compare their everyday life to the best life that other people are living. Very rarely do people post about their tough times but more of their highlights and understandably so. The part that doesn’t make sense is the assumption that someone has it all together based on their social media posts. The other side of the comparison coin is what I call the “jones effect”. This is where an individual jumps on a bandwagon just because other people on social media are doing so. It’s not always a bad thing as it is what led me to watch the documentary “ When they see us” which is a miniseries based on the true story of five teens that were wrongly accused of a case. The troubling scenario is when someone goes against his or her values just to keep up with the Jones who do not even exist. As my dad would say “all because you want to join gang”.

I remember the primary school rhyme that was taught to us in an attempt to help us deal with negativity but I guess the reality of the rhyme was never true.

“sticks and stones will break my bones but words will never hurt”

There are things that have been said to us in the past that have stuck to us and shaped us in our future. I remember in “The Greatest Showman” where the protagonist Phineas had an exchange with his eventual father in law when he was young and his words pushed him to try to earn the respect of his father in law but it was never enough.

There are dreams that people were unable to achieve because of the words of doubters. There were opportunities lost because people said it was not possible. You just have to look at history to see how time and time again doubters have been proven wrong. Frank Sinatra made popular the song “They all laughed” which makes a mockery of those that doubted Christoper Colombus, Thomas Edison, the Wright Brothers et al.

I have learnt that it is important to have the right people around you. These are people who are wise that can encourage you and keep you grounded. I have already said in a previous post that not everyone should be entitled to an opinion, which I maintain but having the words of a faithful few is valuable. Be humble and open when they are giving you the loving correction but also embrace their support and encouragement.

“Take compliments and criticism as perfume, let it come on you but not in you”

As for the rest, take their words with a pinch of salt whenever they offer you their opinions. There may be truth to what they say, and there may be lies but do not wear it on your chest.

As an unashamed Christian, I take my relationship with God very serious and His words and opinions on me are very dear to me. So if He has said “I am fearfully and wonderfully made” I am not at the mercy of the naysayers that prefer to comment on the size of my belly.

All in all, you have the ability to filter the information that is given to you. Do not desire to live for the approval of masses because the same people who will praise will not hesitate to bring you down.

 

God bless and live in peace.

Seun